So I apologize in advance if this post gets a little mushy and unbearable to read, I promised myself long ago that I would not be one of those moms who cry and get all emotional about their babies going off to school.
Because really I am just not like that.
I'm not.
But this was a whole different ball park than I was expecting, I had no idea it would hit me so hard about having a little guy in school now every day. And yes I know Luke has been going every day now to Sound Beginnings for six months but that is somehow different, he is still my baby and still so young to me. And that doesn't feel so much like school, it feels more like an amazing experience for him that is blessing his life in more ways than we can imagine. But Lance is growing up all too quickly and this week I have experienced that with him.
So I need to hit the highlights of the last week and a half because there was a lot of defining moments for Lance and for me in my journey of mother hood.

It all started last week at Back to School Night, he was so excited to come with me to the big crayon school (they have big giant crayon pillars outside all of the doors). We got there and slowly, slowly I saw him start to clam up. He became very quiet, and restless, we talked to a few of the Kindergarten teachers and he was so anxious and nervous. Not like him at all, he has been talking of going to Kindergarten all summer long. Not an ounce of fear.
We got home and I just new something was bothering him, I kept asking him and all I could get from him was "he was cold". Okay.....I fixed him up with a nice warm bath, gave him some warm milk before bed and tucked my quiet little boy in all the while having these horrible thoughts of I have made a mistake. He is a June birthday, he will be one of the youngest in his class, we debated back and forth for along time about holding him back another year.
But finally we went with what our guts told us all along and registered him for this year. He is so ready, he needs to be challenged, he needs to be out of the house, he is so ready to learn, he is so tall for his age. We felt it would be a huge disservice to him to hold him back another year simply because he has a late birthday. I feel in my heart I know he is ready for this but seeing how quiet he was I started having serious doubts about our decision.
So I asked him one last time what was wrong. I laid down by him in his bed so we could have a little chat, never before has he not told me what was on his little mind. Finally out it all spilled, "it's a big school, there is a lot of kids, what if it was hard to make friends, I miss Miss Jen and Caleb". We talked for almost an hour addressing each of his fears. Finally I tucked a little happy relieved boy back into bed who was once again all geared up for school.
My thoughts about my boy going into Kindergarten are not just about my baby is so big and growing up, going away for a few hours each day but more along the lines of..... This is it. This begins the life of a school aged child. My days with Katelynn are exhausting, she is a fuss budget between 6 and 9 pm only wants to be held, she wakes up entirely too much during the night. Luke's tantrums are on my last nerve, why does everything have to be a fight. Motherhood is hard and tiring when they are little but I never imagined the pulls of your heart strings as they grow older and more independent.
Will he make the right kinds of friends, will he be respectful, will he have confidence in himself? How do I teach him these things, how do I guide him down the right path? Will he be kind and courteous, will he remember to say thank you? How do I keep our relationship to the point that he will always know he can tell me what is on his mind? Will I always be mindful, will my mothers intuition alert me when something is wrong?
A warm bath and a late night chat may not always be so simple.
Lance this week was so defining for me as your mother. I am so proud of you and the little person that you are. I pray that you know that I am always here for you, that you can always talk to me, and that you remember who you are and how much you are loved.

So the first day arrived, he is ready he is excited all fears are forgotten....or at least put on the back burner, and excitement on the front burner.




New clothes, new shoes, new backpack.....

I walked him into his classroom Mrs. Carlisle AM kindergarten.

You are right my baby that is a big school and you are still such a little boy......
Conclusion he loved every second of it, he hops out of bed each morning at 6:30 am bouncing away on his bed begging to go, he has made four friends though for the life of him can't recall their names. Mrs. Carlisle is super nice. It's color week, today he wore red, tomorrow blue. They are learning about safety and the letter A, they have snacks an Otter Pop to be exact. He got a gold coin and a sticker for being a good boy.

Oh and perhaps one of the greatest things for me is this cute little sight each morning. Eric drops both boys off at school on his way to work each morning. He loves this one on one time with each of his boys, they love their daddy and I love a few hours to myself each morning while the little miss takes her morning nap.
Yes I would say we have gotten off to a fantastic start to a new school year.
As for Lukey he begins next week, so stay tuned for more first day pictures.